Read time: 3min
Welcome to my weekly newsletter – Where I use real stories from my life to unpack lessons and insights I have learnt. I hope you enjoy the material and gain something impactful to apply to your life.
What’s in store:
Meeting the sheriff of the court – not what I expected.
Man’s greatest downfall – Pride.
Six things I learnt from being sued
What can AI’s chatGPT teach me about being sued.
Quote – Avoid lawsuits beyond all things…
The day started like any other day. Perfect and without fault. Business went about business, and clients came and went as they always do. Coffee was consumed by the plenty, and banter was in full swing amongst colleagues.
All was well…
Until the knocking at the front door began, there stood a slender middle-aged man; “Good day, I am the sheriff of the court. I am issuing you a summons on behalf of the plaintiff; here you go”.
EXCUSE ME, WHAT?
Now, this is where a million thoughts run through your head:
This guy must be lost. Surely!
Who the hell wants to sue me?
Is my wife finally divorcing me?
What has my brother done?
Was that hydrogen bomb I threw into the traffic at sixteen finally returning to haunt me?
He delivered the document and went on his merry way – “don’t shoot the messenger, he shouted.” (I’m sure he didn’t shout that!)
My colleagues and I sat down in disbelief. What exactly is going on here? There was a minor altercation with the landlord over a clause in the lease a few weeks back, but surely he wouldn’t sue us over a bruised ego. We reminded him of his promises to us and pointed out where he had failed to deliver.
Were we not within our rights to do that?
We opened the document, and to our horror, it was precisely that. The landlord was suing us and wanted us out of the premises in 30 days – We had only been there a few months – we had a three-year contract.
Now, I believe it’s good practice to give people the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn’t say I like jumping to conclusions, and I think people are generally innocent until proven guilty. However, when you are dealing with a bipolar narcissist, this is a challenging principle to live by. The inflated ego and the lack of empathy and remorse were new to me. I had never and never have again ever dealt with such a human being in my life.
Being sued was an interesting psychological phenomenon for me.
I struggled to wrap my head around it for weeks. On the one hand, you have a pleasant man with a dry sense of humour; on the other, you have a completely deranged lunatic with serious daddy issues which he has never confronted. He would do anything to make your life hell. Example: I arrived to work on a Monday, as usual, and the whole place had been turned upside down, and some of the furniture was missing. Had there been a burglary? No, the landlord had one of his episodes and had personally turned the place upside down. He put our coffee machine and some of our furniture into his storage. WTF! I laugh at it now, but can you believe this guy? I lost it! I wanted to body slam him like that guy who broke into my car. He was nowhere to be seen.
I have been learning much about cowards in the last few years. Broken men! Rather, broken boys that need help.
I feel sorry for the guy. I didn’t for the year he was suing me, that’s for sure!
On second thought, I feel more for the people in his life that have to deal with him daily.
My six key takeaways from the whole ordeal:
- A great white bully –
Humour me for a second; imagine you could shrink a great white shark and drop him into a fish bowl with a goldfish. What would be the outcome? Yes, a starving great white all alone in a fish bowl. This is precisely what happens in a lawsuit when you are a goldfish minding your own business and a great white swims on in – You have no chance unless your lawyer decides he enjoys shark fin soup and wants to take on your case Erin Brockovich style. Pro bono cases are rare, so you are typically left to be eaten up without even a chance to fight.
- Hands tied behind my back, fair fight? –
If the plaintiff (the guy suing me) has deep pockets or, better yet, has a law firm in his back pocket. He knows he is in the driving seat and can throw the kitchen sink at me – the defendant, and there is not much I can do. He drags out the case as long as he can to wrack up my lawyer fees until they are too hefty, and I eventually buckle. I see now how innocent people get completely screwed over if they do not have the funds to fight. You, the defendant, could be 100% correct and win your case hands down, but if you do not have the funds to withstand the onslaught, I am sorry to say, it’s game over for you.
I decided to stand my ground and fight for all those who couldn’t; for over a year, we fought until we couldn’t fight anymore; we were broke. A few hundred grand in legal fees went down the drain, and the plaintiff just smirked and continued to beat us with the kitchen sink.
- Giving up is an option when you take the higher road –
After a year of fighting and financially bleeding dry (borrowing money from people), an opportunity arose to move premises. We decided to take the higher road, leave all the money we had invested in the premises, and depart. On one condition, of course – the lawsuit would be dropped. He agreed. We were battered and bruised but not broken.
- Things do not have feelings; we attach feeling to them –
This was a big lesson for us. Emotions were at an all-time high, and feelings were hurt. How could he do this to us? How could one man’s ego drive him to the point of decimating six people’s livelihoods? Where was his sympathy, his empathy, no remorse? So many unanswered questions. We needed to accept that this was out of our control and that letting our emotions get the better of us would not help us; it would make things worse. We needed to let go and let be.
- Two ears, one mouth. Listen twice as much as you talk –
This is a good lesson for life in general. Becoming a good listener is a powerful, powerful thing. Never understate the power of listening. The longer the case went on, the more I learned to listen. The better I got at listening in our meetings, the more ammunition I could store up, which helped build my case throughout that year.
- Pride overrides moral judgment –
This was the first time I could vividly see a man becoming more and more poisoned by his pride. To renounce your lifelong morals and values, all to protect your ego in a moment. This must be one of our most significant faults and failures as a man. I could bet that most wars are started because of one man’s pride.
I asked openAI’s chatGPT for his thoughts on the matter and this is what he gave me in 10seconds – it’s not bad:
Being unfairly sued can be a deeply personal and emotional experience, and there may be some personal lessons that can be taken from it.
Resilience: Going through an unfair lawsuit can be a challenging and stressful experience, and it can require a great deal of resilience to make it through. You may discover that you are stronger and more resilient than you thought and that you have the ability to bounce back from difficult situations.
Self-reflection: Being sued unfairly can also be an opportunity for self-reflection. You may be forced to confront certain beliefs or assumptions you have about yourself, others, or the legal system. This can be a chance to examine your values and beliefs and make changes or adjustments as needed.
Empathy: Being on the receiving end of an unfair lawsuit can help you develop a deeper sense of empathy for others who are going through similar experiences. You may become more aware of the challenges and emotional toll that legal disputes can take on individuals and families.
Perspective: Being unfairly sued can also offer a new perspective on life and what really matters. You may come to appreciate the importance of relationships, health, and personal well-being, and realize that material possessions or career success are not the only measures of a fulfilling life.
Gratitude: Finally, going through an unfair lawsuit can help you cultivate a sense of gratitude for the positive things in your life. You may come to appreciate the support of friends and family, the kindness of strangers, or the simple pleasures of everyday life in a new way.
Quote:
Avoid lawsuits beyond all things; they pervert your conscience, impair your health, and dissipate your property – Jean de la Bruyere
In your day, be courageous, confident, and curious.
Your Friend
Trev.
If you found this newsletter helpful. Please do share it with friends so they can sign up themselves. I appreciate the support. Thank you.
